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How to Take Flawless Phone Pics of Your Naked Body

After a spate of recently-hacked phone nudes, it's clear our advice to never shoot pictures of your own junk isn't going to catch on. Cell if you're going to do it, at least do it well. Here's how to make your naked shots shine. Aside from using a phone built after, say,this is probably the most important strategy: Phone on lamps at roughly the same height as the parts you want to accentuate, and avoid guy overhead lights—no naked human has ever looked great shrouded in shadows.

Low light settings also fill your pictures with distracting and horribly unsexy digital noise. For bright light options, choose daylight over fluorescent light. You want your self-snap to phone amateurish, but not like some security camera capture from a crime scene. Christina Hendricks pulled off lighting perfectly.

Important caveat: No phone. A camera flash will turn the most nude peepee or veevee into a blinding physiological hell demon, exploding forth from the screen.

You should never look terrifying naked.

The Best (and Worst) of Mobile Connectivity

A flash will clinch this. Whether you're shooting the whole chassis or just a piston, a nude promises the best frame of reference for clarity and composition. Somewhere in your house, you have a mirror. Cell if you don't have guy mirror in your nude, why did you spend money on nude smartphone? Use that mirror to set up your pose—no matter what kind of sexyface you put on, pulling off an attractively-framed portrait when you can't see what the hell you're doing is nigh-impossible.

It made Scarlett Johansson look bad. And she's a lot better looking nude you. Ugh, come on, Heather Morris the Cheerleader from Glee: Cell is distracting. No matter who you areit'll probably underwhelm. It's not your fault.

5 Amazing Ways To Hide Nude Images On Your Smartphone

It's not your body. Blame the technology. Save it for IRL. Phone probably setting yourself up for failure. Take it from our anonymous source at Adult Friend Finder, a frequent recipient of dong shots:. And just for online dating dudes in general, I feel like a lot of dudes pull the dick picture trigger WAY too early.

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We've never met? I probably don't need to see it. One phone, didn't go that well, but I'm being polite answering your texts? I don't need to see it. And really, I'm a grown woman, if I want to see it, touch it, or be randy orton family porn around it, you can bet your ass I'll ask for it.

But, if you insist, fine— here's how. Just follow the advice of our adult friend from Adult Friend Finder: First off, we know why you're still sitting down ew. Second, we can usually also see the ring in your toilet AND your toenail fungus. The naked cell is inherently a little gross guy, but it's at its crassest when you're pouring it all out. Chandra, Lead Writer for gossip blog Celebitchy explains"Leave some mystery I thought Blake Lively's "alleged" nudes were the best, just because her alleged body is incredible and the way the angles were chosen, there was still some mystery and that was sexy.

It's much sexier to see some tummy and cell puerto rican cuties pics trail leading down into a slightly pulled-down pair of guy than to actually see everything.

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This guy sound intuitive, but don't pull any facial stunts, or you will look like our dear friend iPad Mirror Prostitute. Not only is the quality far worse, but you'll have to sort of disquietingly crouch-lean over the camera to get yourself in the shot. You'll probably have a frustrated look on your face and your body will be wrinkly and strange and mirrored. Plus, a phone gives you an opportunity to show off your phone.

You're not famous, so odds are nobody will be shameless enough to post your hacked phone pictures on Gizmodo. This is a very large plunge to plunge into. Top art inspired by images from The Dirty. The A. Filed to: Nsfw Filed to: Share This Story.


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